Wednesday, October 7, 2009

When inspiration comes a calling...

"Inspiration and genius--one and the same."
Victor Hugo

Artists can find inspiration anywhere. A blooming flower, or a flying bird. Some dew on a leaf, or the twinkling of a star. Today, I had my inspiriing moment. Allow me to paint you a picture:

I was waiting outside of my boyfriends work on a fairly typical Wednesday afternoon. I wasn't fully sure if he would need a ride home because my cell phone died early on in the day, but I thought I would drop by for a few minutes and see if he came out or not.

This, was the begininng of the most beautiful moment of my entire life.

I parked my car near the entrance to his building, turned off the engine and hunkered in to read a few pages of the Kathy Griffin autobiography. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a homeless man venturing down the sidewalk with his token shopping cart. He continued walking until he was right beside my car and I was instantly on-guard. I thought oh god, this guy's going to give me grief!! He's gonna want money, bottles, tell me that women shouldn't be able to wear pants or some other crazy homeless man shizz and I wasn't stoked.

I waited for the inevitable window tap-a-lap, but alas there was no tap. This man had his own agenda. He walked right up to my window, but he didn't bend over to talk. It was almost as if he was making some sort of gang gesture with his hands right near his crotch. Like the symbol for "the bloods" or something. I stared and stared wondering what it was exactly that I was peering at. These few moments probably only lasted a mere 30 seconds. In my head, however, it lasted forever. A flurry of thoughts began to flood my mind "Why is this gentleman giving me a gang sign?" "Why is he standing so close to my car?" "Does this mean I'm gonna have to slap a bum?" but the most prevasive question I had was "How can a man with such dirty hands, have such a clean thumb?" and that's when it happened:

In one fell swoop I realized I wasn't staring at a homless man flashing me the sign for "the crips", I was staring at a man flashing me his lil dip! And he wasn't just flashin, he was straight up takin a pee!!! Right on my car!

The funniest thing about this whole situation is that I was so clueless! I literally stared at his wee peen for approx 30 seconds, with every scenario running through my head except for the obvious - that this guy is gonna take a leak on my car!

For all of those sickies out there who want to know, his bidness wasn't a fourtune 500 type venture. It was more of a ma and pop type establishment if you catch my drift. I'm sure if he had been packing more heat I would not have mistook his dink for the tip of his thumb, but I digress.

I thought it was HILARIOUS! My own naivity combined with my own foolish luck is one of those things that makes me think that we do, in fact, create our own destiny. Only a mind as twisted as my own could create such a situation! And it really did shake me out of my current funk. I was like how can I not be optimistic when I just witnessed the most hilarious thing in the world!

I believe THIS is what Oprah meant when she talks about her A-ha moment! It was as if when that homeless man's urine sprayed onto the door of my car and literally washed away the dust from my life. I wish I could have thanked that dear, wise, thought-provoking old man! Unfortunately, it was only after a few minutes reflection and a few minutes of driving that I realized what a profound impact that man will forever have on my life!

So if you ever, ever recieve the glorious gift of a homeless man's pee on your car, do what I could not and THANK him! Thank him for the laughs, thank him for the story, but more importantly thank him for me!

Until next time...

1 comment:

  1. SHIT that's funny. Good lord? a clean thumb? bahahahaha..kinda gross..majorly funny.